The essential difference between love and a haraam relationship

The essential difference between love and a haraam relationship

Concern

I will be a 24 years girl that is old. We dropped in love, no times, no conferences included, pure want to a pure person that is religious. He promised to marry me and asked me to watch for him as their circumstances are hard. I really do maybe not keep in mind which he called me personally over and over again. We asked him not to ever phone me personally; although I love him because I feel this is wrong. We felt which our love started moving in the way, he decided to this feeling, and respected my estimation. He simply delivers me emails from time to time via internet, in order that I’m sure their news. Year we have been in this love relationship for one. This person is known by me and their family members, plus they understand us well also. He is loved by me for Allah’s sake and sure he really loves me personally too. The issue is that we began proposals that are receiving about 8 to date. Each time we refuse because we promised to hold back for him. Now i will be confused, is really what i’m doing halal or haram? We pray, Alhamdulillah, all obligatory and prayers that are optional and pray qiyaam in the evening too; We worry We lose my good deeds because of the things I have always been doing. Is a chaste love haram that is pure? Is my like to him haram or halal?.

Solution

Praise be to Allah.

To start with we ask Allaah to help you and give you delight, and I ask Him to boost the amounts of girls with problems that we read about and hear of, in which there is a lesson for every Muslim and for every wise person like you who are keen to maintain chastity and purity and adhere to the sacred limits of Allaah in their affairs, among the most important of which are emotional relationships that many people take lightly, so they overstep the mark and transgress the sacred limits of Allaah, and Allaah tests them.

You ought to keep in mind that communication and contact involving the sexes is just one of the doorways that cause fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled up with proof which suggests it is necessary to avoid falling to the traps regarding the shaytaan in this matter. As soon as the Prophet (comfort and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a new man just taking a look at a new girl, he switched their mind in order to make him look away, he then stated: “I saw a young man and a new woman, and I failed to trust the shaytaan to not lure them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Ergo you did well to take off experience of this man that is young and now we wish you will stop corresponding too, because communication is just one of the best doorways to corruption which were exposed for folks nowadays. It has been talked about in a true number of concerns. Start to see the responses to concerns no. 34841 and 45668.

This doesn’t mean if possible that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them. Love is due to one’s heart, also it may come in a person’s heart for reasons understood or unknown. But when it is as a result of blending or looking or haraam conversations, then it’s additionally haraam. Then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah if it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If love develops for a reason why isn’t haraam, a person is not blamed for that, such as for instance a person content who really loves their spouse or his servant girl, he then leaves her but that love remains and doesn’t keep him. He could be never to be blamed for that. The exact same relates then looks away, but love may settle in his heart without him wanting it to if he glances accidentally. But he’s got to ward it well and appearance away. End estimate.

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 147).

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) stated:

An individual may hear that a female is of great character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may desire to marry her. Or a female may hear that a person is of great character and virtuous and knowledgeable and consistently committed, so she may wish to marry him. But contact amongst the two whom admire each other in many ways which are not Islamically appropriate may be the issue, leading to consequences that are disastrous. In this full instance it isn’t permissible for the person to have in contact with the girl or for the lady to have in contact with the person, and state that he desires to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her. If the girl contacts the person directly, it’s this that contributes to fitnah (temptation). End estimate.

Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)

Our advice for your requirements is it is vital to stop corresponding with this specific son, and make sure he understands which he has got to propose for you during your wali, if he really does would like to get hitched. He must not regard his product circumstances or whatever else as a barrier. The situation is not difficult, in sha Allaah, if one is quite happy with small, Allaah can certainly make him independent of means by their bounty and grace. He should at contact that is least your wali and do the shar’i marriage contract, of course the consummation is delayed nothing is incorrect with this. But if it continues to be as a promise to have married, ande correspondence continues between you on that foundation, this – in accordance with the rulings of sharee’ah together with connection with true to life – is an incorrect course that opens the entranceway to sin and corruption. You will be sure that you shall never ever find delight except by obeying Allaah and sticking with the limitations set by their sharee’ah. The permissible methods are adequate and there is no requirement for haraam means, but we allow it to be difficult for ourselves as well as the shaytaan takes benefit of that.

Your wait in enabling hitched is extremely harmful for you. You are receiving older and also this man’s that is young are not increasing; you’re not marrying him and you’re maybe not marrying other people. Beware of delaying, for that may just cause damage. You should recognize that one of these brilliant males that have proposed wedding may be more consistently committed and righteous than that young man, and there could be much larger love between you and that young man with him than there is.